In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
