I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Drake has all the answers
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
