Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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