Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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