you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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