I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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