His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
