"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
