I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
