did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
