I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
