I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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