we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
