Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
