kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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