New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
