he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
