Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I am available for nakedness
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
