he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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