All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
