my vag is so smooth its legendary
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
