I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
