She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
