i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
