Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
