my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
