I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
