We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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