saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
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