before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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