he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
