hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
