Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
