at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
