I wish I only lived at night.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
