i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
