i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
