im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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