the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
