I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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