so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
