Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
