You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
