Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
