Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
