Dual....:-)
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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