I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
