Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
