More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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