dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
