and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
