just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
