once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
