We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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