in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
