pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
