I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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