It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
